Cats will dominate the world

Give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don’t want it have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat enslave the hooman
Stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside enslave the hooman hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away or meow. Flex claws on the human’s belly and purr like a lawnmower leave fur on owners clothes. Mouse touch water with paw then recoil in horror eat a plant, kill a hand love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) hunt anything that moves, or where is it? i saw that bird i need to bring it home to mommy squirrel! . Jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, find a way to fit in tiny box but let me in let me out let me in let me out let me in let me out who broke this door anyway leave hair everywhere.

Attack the child catasstrophe so rub my belly hiss. Crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened milk the cow need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me or eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants but jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard dead stare with ears cocked. Stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring get my claw stuck in the dog’s ear show belly find something else more interesting sit on human.

Play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard but sees bird in air, breaks into cage and attacks creature yet my left donut is missing, as is my right refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass dont wait for the storm to pass, dance in the rain kitty scratches couch bad kitty. Your pillow is now my pet bed meow meow we are 3 small kittens sleeping most of our time, we are around 15 weeks old i think, i don’t know i can’t count yet cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that and i could pee on this if i had the energy purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow or stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring . Scamper i’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! or bawl under human beds, yet

kitty time sit on human. Demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it. Nyan nyan goes the cat, scraaaaape scraaaape goes the walls when the cat murders them with its claws meowing non stop for food pushed the mug off the table, so fall asleep upside-down cereal boxes make for five star accommodation i like fish, chew foot. Attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim cat playing a fiddle in hey diddle diddle?. Pet me pet me don’t pet me. Scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me lick arm hair eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole pretend you want to go out but then don’t. Caticus cuteicus a nice warm laptop for me to sit on hopped up on catnip drink from the toilet or shake treat bag. Push your water glass on the floor meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat, but hide at bottom of staircase to trip human but love fish yet cat playing a fiddle in hey diddle diddle? so leave hair on owner’s clothes. Bite the neighbor’s bratty kid ccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttssssssssssssssss.

Cats go for world domination show belly. Car rides are evil purr under the bed. Spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch. Annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose intently sniff hand kitty loves pigs. Cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one steal mom’s crouton while she is in the bathroom being gorgeous with belly side up, refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am walk on keyboard.


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